Any parent will agree with me, hearing your kid saying:
“You are the best mom”, “This is the best day ever”, “I love you” are the sweetest words we can hear from our children.
Some parents go to the moon and back to get those beautiful words out of their babies, some parents go the extra-extra mile to try to make their children happy, but Does it always work the way we want it? Do you always get these sweet words from them every time you think you are giving them the best?
Most of the time I think yes, works fine, in my case, my girls will be impressed and happy for the coolest toy or a new adventure, but the expectations from my part sometimes are not completely satisfied...
I see myself, going up and above taking them to a fancy place “giving them” what it suppose to be a great treat and yes, they will love it, but only for the first 10-15 minutes and then they will start asking for something else, they will get bored and move on... Then is when I will start questioning if I really needed to gave them such thing?
My hopes on being “The best mom in the world” goes away when I see that what I did for them wasn’t enough and frustration will attack me, I will question my parenting skills, my ability to make them happy, my money, everything... I will let them judge me and rank me as a good or bad mom depending on how much I did spend or how far I went for their happiness. Don’t get me wrong, I would risk my life in a second for any of my kids but in my efforts to make them happy and feel myself as a good mom I have felt hopeless sometimes...
But then it comes “magic” in a form of a likely un-planned activity, an unexpected gift, something that I just assumed is mine, something that I will take for granted and not appreciate, that is when reality check slaps me in the face and tells me: “Hey, open your eyes” “It is not complicated”, “just let them be”. Yes, as a mother I am responsible for their well being, health and happiness but they need to discover happiness in the most simple forms, for that I need to allow them the opportunity to discover it on their own.
So, while I was going out of my mind to try to “force them to be happy” life sent me a beautiful and easy lesson...
My 2 youngest girls and I were coming back from school the other day, we were just walking, it wasn’t cold yet and suddenly there it was: A pretty tree loosing its leaves, making a beautiful pile to jump on, covering the entire floor close to our home with pretty colors.
It was beautiful and perfect, but I didn’t see it, I was “too busy” on my phone but my 4 year old asked me: “Can we play a little?” Sure I said l, just for few minutes.
My girls jumped and laughed, and play for more than an hour while I sat there just watching and taking pictures of them, they throw leaves at each other and pretend they were swimming, they ran and fall over and over on the leaves and soon enough they both started cheering and yelling:
“This is the best day ever” , “Thank you mommy”, “You are the best mommy in the world” “I love you mommy”
I listened and told myself: “I didn’t do anything” I simply stoped and let them be kids, I just watched, but it was more than enough. I realized that giving them the chance to look around and enjoy life is enough, I reminded myself how simple life is but how complicated sometimes we made it.
I remembered how in Christmas my oldest daughter (who is not in the pictures this time because she is in Middle school now) used to receive a cool-expensive toy when she was 1-2 years old and all she would wanted to play with was the “empty box”
It is important for me to stay grounded and get closer to what really matters. I don’t think there anything wrong with “cool stuff” or buying toys, they got their own magic too. But nothing beats a good moment of laughter, hugs, sun, fresh air, rain, snow, a warm hot cocoa or a cool lemonade, family... and all those things are more likely free and ready to use at any moment.
I wish all my dear friends wonderful holidays, I hope your life gets filled with these valuable and easy “things” a warm hug from your loved one, a pretty smile from a child, a cozy meal, snuggles with your pet, a good laugh with a friend... all the amazing things that can really makes us blissfully happy and that money can’t buy.
Xo: Natalia
