"Spread Your Wings"

The last time I saw you, you  were walking on the streets smiling and waving good by at me, I didn't know that on that ugly day you were about to spread you wings and fly away...
I had no idea that was going to be the day you will became the most beautiful angel in heave, and here we are, 18 year later today; Me trying to figure out life and You still flying around me.
It's being the hardest years of my life without you, but I've learn to love you without seeing you, without hearing your voice...
I accepted the fact that I can't give you a hug on your birthday or walk with you to the stores, I know that we can't go to have dinner on mother's day or talk about how adorable your grandchildren are.
I can't call you on your phone and ask you about the millions of questions I have, I can't tell you how hard my day was, I can't cry in your lap when I feel sad, I can't ask you to come and help me in my house, I can't simply come home and ask you how I was as a little girl?, you may have so many memories that I would've love to know...
But I accept the kind of love we have now, it's different but it's ours, I accepted that you only come in my dreams and that you only speak to me thru hidden messages in my life, I know that you listen to me even when you don't answer me back.
I finally learnt to love your wings, I am proud of them and try to take care of them and make sure that whoever knows me can see how beautiful they are, I kiss them whenever I can, I now embrace them and I try to be ok with you being with me but at the same time not being here.
The kind of love we have today, is the kind that only kisses you with the rain, the one that caresses my face with the breeze of the air, the one that sings me a song thru the radio when I need it the most, the one that holds me thru a friends arms, the one that says: "I love you" thru my daughter's voices, the one that in the mirror smiles back at me wearing your usual red lipstick, the one that gives me an advice thru my heart's palpitations, the one that in the dark hears me cry but hugs me and helps me going back to sleep.
It's different, but is still our love, it transcended and changed it's shape and ways, but is still our love, it's still you and I can feel it.
So, spread your wings my dear, show me how beautiful you still are, fly to were only the greatest can and take a piece of me with you and make me part of your journey because a mother's heart can never be apart of their children's life and I know you are never apart from mine...
Today we celebrate the upgrade you did 18 years ago to a higher level of love, a love that is invisible to the eye but is so strongly present in my heart.